Shit to Wear

ZEROZEROZERO Short-Sleeve Unisex T-Shirt
  • ZEROZEROZERO Short-Sleeve Unisex T-Shirt
  • ZEROZEROZERO Short-Sleeve Unisex T-Shirt
  • ZEROZEROZERO Short-Sleeve Unisex T-Shirt
  • ZEROZEROZERO Short-Sleeve Unisex T-Shirt
  • ZEROZEROZERO Short-Sleeve Unisex T-Shirt

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In cart Not available Out of stock
$20.95

It's a fucking t-shirt. It's got our logo on the front. That's it, a t-shirt in your choice of 5 colours with our logo on the front and nothing on the back. If that sounds like something you'd like to wear add one to the fucking cart.

• 100% ring-spun cotton
• Sport Grey is 90% ring-spun cotton, 10% polyester
• Dark Heather is 65% polyester, 35% cotton
• 4.5 oz/yd² (153 g/m²)
• Pre-shrunk
• Shoulder-to-shoulder taping
• Quarter-turned to avoid crease down the centre (whatever the fuck that means)

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Soon Short-Sleeve Unisex T-Shirt
  • Soon Short-Sleeve Unisex T-Shirt
  • Soon Short-Sleeve Unisex T-Shirt
  • Soon Short-Sleeve Unisex T-Shirt
  • Soon Short-Sleeve Unisex T-Shirt

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In cart Not available Out of stock
$25.95

It's another t-shirt. Nothing special. Just a fucking t-shirt with the cover image of our single SOON on the front and a small ZEROZEROZERO logo on the back. It's a cool image (we didn't do it). Just buy the fucking shirt already.

• 100% ring-spun cotton
• Sport Grey is 90% ring-spun cotton, 10% polyester
• Dark Heather is 65% polyester, 35% cotton
• 4.5 oz/yd² (153 g/m²)
• Pre-shrunk
• Shoulder-to-shoulder taping
• Quarter-turned to avoid crease down the centre (which must suck if you wanted a crease down the centre)

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Soon Short-Sleeve Unisex T-Shirt (Reversed)
  • Soon Short-Sleeve Unisex T-Shirt (Reversed)
  • Soon Short-Sleeve Unisex T-Shirt (Reversed)
  • Soon Short-Sleeve Unisex T-Shirt (Reversed)
  • Soon Short-Sleeve Unisex T-Shirt (Reversed)

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In cart Not available Out of stock
$25.95

It's the SOON t-shirt, but reversed. Just a fucking t-shirt with the cover image of our single SOON on the back and a small ZEROZEROZERO logo on the left sleeve. It's a cool image (we didn't do it). Just buy the fucking shirt already.

• 100% ring-spun cotton
• Sport Grey is 90% ring-spun cotton, 10% polyester
• Dark Heather is 65% polyester, 35% cotton
• 4.5 oz/yd² (153 g/m²)
• Pre-shrunk
• Shoulder-to-shoulder taping
• Quarter-turned to avoid crease down the centre (which must still suck if you wanted a crease down the centre like on the other Soon shirt)

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So Wrong Short-Sleeve Unisex T-Shirt
  • So Wrong Short-Sleeve Unisex T-Shirt
  • So Wrong Short-Sleeve Unisex T-Shirt
  • So Wrong Short-Sleeve Unisex T-Shirt
  • So Wrong Short-Sleeve Unisex T-Shirt
  • So Wrong Short-Sleeve Unisex T-Shirt

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In cart Not available Out of stock
$25.95

You've had t-shirts. You've worn t-shirts. You know how t-shirts work. This is a fucking t-shirt. It's a special t-shirt because it has the word FUCK on the front. It also has a small ZEROZEROZERO logo on the back, but you're buying this t-shirt because it says FUCK on the front.

• 100% ring-spun cotton
• Sport Grey is 90% ring-spun cotton, 10% polyester
• Dark Heather is 65% polyester, 35% cotton
• 4.5 oz/yd² (153 g/m²)
• Pre-shrunk
• Shoulder-to-shoulder taping
• Quarter-turned to avoid crease down the centre (I want to know what they have against creases down the centre)

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So Wrong Short-Sleeve Unisex T-Shirt (Reversed)
  • So Wrong Short-Sleeve Unisex T-Shirt (Reversed)
  • So Wrong Short-Sleeve Unisex T-Shirt (Reversed)
  • So Wrong Short-Sleeve Unisex T-Shirt (Reversed)
  • So Wrong Short-Sleeve Unisex T-Shirt (Reversed)
  • So Wrong Short-Sleeve Unisex T-Shirt (Reversed)

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In cart Not available Out of stock
$25.95

You've had t-shirts. You've worn t-shirts. You know how t-shirts work. This is a fucking t-shirt. It's just like the normal So Wrong t-shirt, except the front's on the back and the back's on the side. It's an even more special t-shirt because it has the word FUCK on the back (didn't see that coming). It also has a small ZEROZEROZERO logo on the left sleeve, but you're buying this t-shirt because it doesn't say FUCK on the front and therefore your mum will like it.

• 100% ring-spun cotton
• Sport Grey is 90% ring-spun cotton, 10% polyester
• Dark Heather is 65% polyester, 35% cotton
• 4.5 oz/yd² (153 g/m²)
• Pre-shrunk
• Shoulder-to-shoulder taping
• Quarter-turned to avoid crease down the centre (why can't we have multiple creases at various angles?)

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Escape Short-Sleeve Unisex T-Shirt
  • Escape Short-Sleeve Unisex T-Shirt
  • Escape Short-Sleeve Unisex T-Shirt
  • Escape Short-Sleeve Unisex T-Shirt
  • Escape Short-Sleeve Unisex T-Shirt
  • Escape Short-Sleeve Unisex T-Shirt

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In cart Not available Out of stock
$25.95

What's to explain? It's a photo of commuters entering a train station. It's also from the cover of our debut single ESCAPE. Maybe you liked that song. Maybe you think the image captures the meaninglessness of a modern consumer society we're all trapped in. It's on a t-shirt which is identical from all our other t-shirts apart from the image. Oh and it also has a small ZEROZEROZERO logo on the back.

Just give in to the ennui and buy the fucking shirt like the good little consumer you are.

• 100% ring-spun cotton
• Sport Grey is 90% ring-spun cotton, 10% polyester
• Dark Heather is 65% polyester, 35% cotton
• 4.5 oz/yd² (153 g/m²)
• Pre-shrunk
• Shoulder-to-shoulder taping
• Quarter-turned to avoid crease down the centre (so the crease is going to be diagonal? Who the fuck wants a diagonal crease?)

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Escape Short-Sleeve Unisex T-Shirt (Reversed)
  • Escape Short-Sleeve Unisex T-Shirt (Reversed)
  • Escape Short-Sleeve Unisex T-Shirt (Reversed)
  • Escape Short-Sleeve Unisex T-Shirt (Reversed)
  • Escape Short-Sleeve Unisex T-Shirt (Reversed)
  • Escape Short-Sleeve Unisex T-Shirt (Reversed)

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In cart Not available Out of stock
$25.95

Have you picked up that I'm basically cutting and pasting for these (Reversed) t-shirt descriptions? It's a photo of commuters entering a train station. But this time it's on the back of the shirt. It's also from the cover of our debut single ESCAPE. Maybe you liked that song. Maybe you think the image captures the meaninglessness of a modern consumer society we're all trapped in. It's on a t-shirt which is identical from all our other t-shirts apart from the image. Oh and it also has a small ZEROZEROZERO logo on the left sleeve.

Just give in to the ennui and buy the fucking shirt like the good little consumer you are.

• 100% ring-spun cotton
• Sport Grey is 90% ring-spun cotton, 10% polyester
• Dark Heather is 65% polyester, 35% cotton
• 4.5 oz/yd² (153 g/m²)
• Pre-shrunk
• Shoulder-to-shoulder taping
• Quarter-turned to avoid crease down the centre (I'd go with a nice crease just slightly off centre to really trigger the AHD suffers)

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The World is Fucked Short-Sleeve Unisex T-Shirt
  • The World is Fucked Short-Sleeve Unisex T-Shirt
  • The World is Fucked Short-Sleeve Unisex T-Shirt
  • The World is Fucked Short-Sleeve Unisex T-Shirt
  • The World is Fucked Short-Sleeve Unisex T-Shirt
  • The World is Fucked Short-Sleeve Unisex T-Shirt

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In cart Not available Out of stock
$25.95

Oh what a rebel you are!

You know you really aren't badass enough to wear a t-shirt with both the words FUCKED and CUNTS so prominently featured, but you'd like to image you might be. Which really just goes to prove the point doesn't it? There's really not much point noting that apart from the foul language this is just a perfectly ordinary t-shirt because we aren't going to sell any of these fuckers. But it does have a small ZEROZEROZERO logo on the back in case anyone cares.

Go on cunt, prove us wrong and buy the fucking shirt.

• 100% ring-spun cotton
• Sport Grey is 90% ring-spun cotton, 10% polyester
• Dark Heather is 65% polyester, 35% cotton
• 4.5 oz/yd² (153 g/m²)
• Pre-shrunk
• Shoulder-to-shoulder taping
• Quarter-turned to avoid crease down the centre (I'd have gone with a three-quarter turn myself)

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The World is Fucked Short-Sleeve Unisex T-Shirt (Reversed)
  • The World is Fucked Short-Sleeve Unisex T-Shirt (Reversed)
  • The World is Fucked Short-Sleeve Unisex T-Shirt (Reversed)
  • The World is Fucked Short-Sleeve Unisex T-Shirt (Reversed)
  • The World is Fucked Short-Sleeve Unisex T-Shirt (Reversed)
  • The World is Fucked Short-Sleeve Unisex T-Shirt (Reversed)

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In cart Not available Out of stock
$25.95

Oh what a backwards rebel you are!

You know you really aren't badass enough to wear a t-shirt with both the words FUCKED and CUNTS so prominently featured, but you'd like to image you might be. So you go for the t-shirt that has all of that shit on the back so you can pretend it's not really there. There's really not much point noting that apart from the foul language this is just a perfectly ordinary t-shirt because we aren't going to sell any of these fuckers either. But it does have a small ZEROZEROZERO logo on the left sleeve in case anyone cares.

Go on cunt, prove us wrong and buy the fucking shirt for your Grandad for Christmas.

• 100% ring-spun cotton
• Sport Grey is 90% ring-spun cotton, 10% polyester
• Dark Heather is 65% polyester, 35% cotton
• 4.5 oz/yd² (153 g/m²)
• Pre-shrunk
• Shoulder-to-shoulder taping
• Quarter-turned to avoid crease down the centre (nope, fuck it, I can't be arsed thinking of any more lame jokes about creases)

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ZEROZEROZERO Embroidery Distressed Cap
  • ZEROZEROZERO Embroidery Distressed Cap

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In cart Not available Out of stock
$28.80

It's a cap. The supplier's description says "the fabric on its brim and crown is distressed, giving the hat an edgy vintage look" which really just means it looks broke. But hey maybe that's the look you're going for. I know I look like shit when I'm distressed, so maybe this is the perfect cap for that emotional state.

It also has the ZEROZEROZERO logo embroidered on the front. It's not a fucking target. Buy it.

• 100% washed chino cotton
• Unstructured, 6-panel, mid-profile
• 6 embroidered eyelets
• 8 rows of visible stitching on the visor (not 6, not 9, but 8! - 8 rows! and they're visible!)
• Closure with full metal buckle and metal hole
• One size fits most (unless you have a ridiculously large or small head)
• Vintage look (i.e. it looks like it's falling apart)
• Head circumference: 22.83″ (58 cm)
• Visor length: 2.76″ (7cm)

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ZEROZEROZERO Universal bucket hat
  • ZEROZEROZERO Universal bucket hat
  • ZEROZEROZERO Universal bucket hat
  • ZEROZEROZERO Universal bucket hat

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In cart Not available Out of stock
$29.50

The original supplier's description said "Create a cool and stylish look with the universal bucket hat. The hat is made of 100% cotton and is durable, breathable, and perfect for hot, sunny days. Order it today and hit the streets in style!"

What a load of bullshit. It's a fucking bucket hat. You're only getting something like this because you have the sort of complexion that burns under candlelight and you haven't grown out of the 'no hat - no play' regime at your kindergarten. The embroidered ZEROZEROZERO logo is really beside the point. Go on click 'add to cart' you pasty faced cunt.

• 100% cotton
• 4 embroidered eyelets
• 7 rows of visible stitching on the brim
• One size fits most people who don't have stupid heads.

This product is available in Australia and New Zealand only. Probably because only Aussies and Kiwis would wear a dumb hat like this. If your shipping address is outside this region, please go fuck yourself (or choose a different product).

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ZEROZEROZERO Embroidered Beanie
  • ZEROZEROZERO Embroidered Beanie
  • ZEROZEROZERO Embroidered Beanie
  • ZEROZEROZERO Embroidered Beanie
  • ZEROZEROZERO Embroidered Beanie
  • ZEROZEROZERO Embroidered Beanie
  • ZEROZEROZERO Embroidered Beanie

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In cart Not available Out of stock
$29.95

It's fucking beanie. You get to choose one of six colours. You don't get to choose if it comes with the embroidered ZEROZEROZERO logo, they all come with that. If you like beanies you'll probably like this. If you don't like beanies then tell yourself that this is the beanie that has converted you and buy the fucking thing.

• 60% cotton, 40% acrylic
• Breathable cotton blend
• Form-fitting shape
• One size fits most. Let's face it, even the elephant man would be able to stretch this fucker over his noggin so your misshapen nut isn't going to pose too many challenges.

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ZEROZEROZERO Trucker Cap
  • ZEROZEROZERO Trucker Cap
  • ZEROZEROZERO Trucker Cap
  • ZEROZEROZERO Trucker Cap
  • ZEROZEROZERO Trucker Cap
  • ZEROZEROZERO Trucker Cap
  • ZEROZEROZERO Trucker Cap
  • ZEROZEROZERO Trucker Cap
  • ZEROZEROZERO Trucker Cap
  • ZEROZEROZERO Trucker Cap

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In cart Not available Out of stock
$29.95

This is a six-panel trucker cap with a mesh back in a selection of colours. Some of them are hideous. We'll let you decide which ones for yourself. The embroidered ZEROZEROZERO logo kinda looks a bit like a Dalek eyestalk (if you've had enough to drink).

You might find it hard not to shout "EX-TERM-IN-ATE" in a metallic voice when wearing this cap. But you'll never find out if you don't fucking buy one will you?

• 60% cotton, 40% polyester
• Mid-profile cap with a low-profile embroidery area
• Structured, six-panel cap
• 3.5″ crown (8.9 cm)
• Hard buckram front panels
• Mesh back
• Permacurv® visor, matching undervisor (as if that's supposed to be a feature... "Oh look it's got a PERMACURV visor! I can't believe I didn't pay twice as much..." WTF?)
• Plastic adjustable closure
• Head circumference: 21⅝″–23⅝″ (54.9 cm–60 cm)

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ZEROZEROZERO Unisex Hoodie
  • ZEROZEROZERO Unisex Hoodie
  • ZEROZEROZERO Unisex Hoodie
  • ZEROZEROZERO Unisex Hoodie
  • ZEROZEROZERO Unisex Hoodie
  • ZEROZEROZERO Unisex Hoodie
  • ZEROZEROZERO Unisex Hoodie
  • ZEROZEROZERO Unisex Hoodie
  • ZEROZEROZERO Unisex Hoodie

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In cart Not available Out of stock
$39.50

It's a hoodie. Lots of colours. I was going to count how many colours, but then I realised I couldn't be fucked. You've got fingers and toes. You count em if you fucking care. It's got the ZEROZEROZERO logo printed on the front. It's got sweet fuck all on the back.

If you think you might be feeling a bit chilly one day buy the fucking hoodie. Or freeze your tits/balls off. Your choice.

• 50% pre-shrunk cotton, 50% polyester
• Fabric weight: 8.0 oz/yd² (271.25 g/m²)
• Air-jet spun yarn with a soft feel and reduced pilling
• Double-lined hood with matching drawcord
• Quarter-turned body to avoid crease down the middle (have you tried a fucking iron?)
• 1 × 1 athletic rib-knit cuffs and waistband with spandex
• Front pouch pocket so you can give yourself a sneaky rub if you get it long enough. Look at the smile on the dickhead in the photo. Have a look where his hands are. Tell me I'm wrong.
• Double-needle stitched collar, shoulders, armholes, cuffs, and hem

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